Travelling to home town, carrying gifts galore caught me thinking, what am I doing? Gifts are small tokens to show affection or appreciation. When and why did it become so commercialised?
I remember my wedding gifts, 4 flasks, 7 steel trays, a few flower vases and what not. Giving silver was more in fashion, depending of what you could afford! Diamonds and jewellery are also called “gifts from parents” for their daughter’s wedding.
Birthdays, for me, are special. The first red car and my first pink (can’t forgive my sister yet for buying me pink colour) watch are still in my memories. After marriage my husband showered gifts on me, cd’s, jewellery and clothes and he still does, though now he has become smarter and tends to buy things that could be of more use to him. I am just an excuse. He has been eyeing the iPhone lately and my birthday is looming.
My recent trip to home really got me thinking about gifts and the art of gifting. Chocolates are appreciated, but most people are either diabetic or over-weight or both and children have tooth problems. So, can’t buy them. Saris which where a craze especially if they are from abroad, stay at the back of the shelves, as better saris are found in India. Shirts, my brothers complain, they have 4 sets of blue and 7 of grey, all gifted by me during my various visits. Can I help it, if my tastes run to blue and grey? I don’t like pink shirts on men or vibrant colours like orange/yellow – they are meant for slapstick comedians or superstars like Rajni or Nagarjuna. I don’t understand why the old people stack new clothes saving it for future. My father-in-law still has them unopened and says he has reserved them for such and such occasion! And, of course, he always checks the country of origin and smirks if it says “made in India”!
Zip-lock bags, very handy and useful, always bought them for my mother-in-law. She loves them to bits and stores them carefully in their original containers unopened. Dry fruits for my mother, she loves them, cherishes them so much she carefully puts them away from children’s reach and when I go next time, she would say “you know I made badam kheer with the badam you bought me last time”. “Excuse me, I say, all these things have an expiry date you know”....”and she says “I know I know that is why I keep it in the freezer not in the godrej anymore.....look they don’t look or taste old”. Can’t change her, so have to change the gift.
Boys, don’t want toys anymore. It is not cool. They would prefer to say, my aunt bought me an iPod or the latest camera cell phone. The little ones of course want the Barbie dolls with matching accessories. Clothes are not appreciated; they prefer the bright coloured frocks or lehengas found there. Books, of course, no time to read them, have enough homework to do!
Costume jewellery and make up: I had taken a few sets this time and while the youngsters appreciated it, the other ladies said, “Not again, we still have what you gave us last time; even the perfumes are not opened”. The deodorant spray, still not opened! Maybe they don’t realise I give these things for a reason!!!
Friends, of course, appreciate gifts. Especially with a little name-brand stuck on it.
With a twenty kilo weight allowance, apart from carrying my things, I wonder if it is worth taking anything at all for them. It seems much easier buying things over there, for a fraction of the cost and after all most shops carries imported sweets and toys. It just does not appeal to me to do so, as gifts are meant to be a surprise, not take someone to the shop and buy what they choose.
After all this, to be asked “if I picked it up in a sale”, I am exhausted and ready to come back. So, very unhappily, I came back with a few Indian artefact gifts for my English friends (and Indian sweets or pickles for my desi friends), apprehensive about their reaction. The English, of course, gush their profuse appreciation as always, but I am sure to find it intact among the schools fundraising charity items or elsewhere. (The desi’s of course enjoy the sweets/pickles from homeland). The thought behind each gift and the amount of time trying to look for the “perfect” gift goes down the drain with all the not so subtle remarks and comparisons with others. I have no pleasure in giving gifts now, even my children say “wow” when I buy them something and then it goes into the toy box and forgotten. Just like I remember my red car and pink watch, will the next generation ever remember the gifts to them? Apart from becoming commercialised, gifts once a source of pleasure in receiving and giving, could become a cause for rifts.
My friend recently told me how her brother-in-law demanded to give their house as a gift to him, as he is jobless and they are living up here. Now, both don’t talk to each other and I have realised the meaning of gift has changed in their dictionary.
I could do with some cheering up now; maybe I should go shopping and treat myself to a “nice gift”........and I sure am glad I am not Santa.
Lovingly yours,
Close
Thanks Uma for the note of confidence. I am glad I am not the only one who feels the frustration. Thanks for your recommendation.
Reply | | Report Abuse
nidhana, your article is touching. There was a time when a greeting card was treasured for years. Now d days people turn over and first see how much the card cost. When you painstakingly buy gifts for neices and nephews, they don't even respond with a 'thank you'. sadly, everything has commercialised .Uma
Reply | | Report Abuse
Thanks U GAIN DE, that is the conclusion I have come to, too!! Thanks for the recommendation!!
Reply | | Report Abuse
Very nice blog ! There is no point carrying gifts to India now since whatever one gets in the US/UK is available in India too. Since the purpose of gifts is to surprise, we can probably do it by not buying anything to anyone !
Reply | | Report Abuse
Thank you jonnadula madhu, appreciate your comment
Reply | | Report Abuse
wow really excellent expression of our feelings.
Reply | | Report Abuse
Too late, I have been brainwashed to giving best wishes and "spending quality time with dear ones". You can have as much of my time as you want....
Thanks for dropping by and your recommendation.
Reply | | Report Abuse
Lovely write..gifts are symbol of love..yet I see when my cousine come from abroad..all near and dear will look forward to him for imported goods as gift..then checking their costs....As Indu ji said..real gift is the time spent with your dear ones....BTW..mereliye kya lao ge
Reply | | Report Abuse
Thanks Red Strawberry, you are lucky with your friends..
Reply | | Report Abuse
Yes Indhu, That is what I think Iwill do, I am not going to win anyway, so might as well stop the habit of giving gifts and just chill
Reply | | Report Abuse
- 1
- 2
- 3
- 4
Displaying 1 - 10 of 38 Blog Comments